Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
