I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
