too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
