that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
