we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And then he peed in my hair
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