How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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