people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
