My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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