the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
