why didn't you poke me back
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
