I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
