just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
