I cockslap morals
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
