I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
