there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
