Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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