..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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