so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
