Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is it penis luge time yet?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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