you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
