Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
