I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Duck Duck Cougar?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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