I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
