exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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