the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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