dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
