great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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