wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
