Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
