Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
