R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
