If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
