Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
