Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
