Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
