If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
