My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
