so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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