Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
