The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
