i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
