she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
