I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
