So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My dick has a subreddit
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
