Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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