today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
