Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
