Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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