yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
