Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
