my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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