big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
