No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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