i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
