Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
