Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
