my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
