What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
