All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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