I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
