he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
