i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
