it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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