Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
