I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
