I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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