but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
