Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
