We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
