Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
