After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
