you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
