I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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